Barry, his size 13 cranium and his fanny pack showed up for Giants camp today amid mass
hysteria. The media hounded him with questions like "Why is your head so big?" and "Dude, a fanny pack, seriously?" to which Bonds replied "have you SEEN the cut in my bicep, shredded dude, shredded... " Its going to be a long season folks and it's only going to get worse as he gets closer to, and eventually beats the record.Michael Irvin released by ESPN:
In a statement released by ESPN "Michael Irvin will not be returning to NFL Countdown this season." They give no reason as to why and the speculation ranges from drug use to a desire to persue opportunities as an actor.
Oh Michael when will you learn? I will give it to you, you were a damn good analyst but I respect you for going back to your true calling, wanton sex and illicit drug use. While playing for the cowboys you were able to rack up an unprecedented 1.26 arrests per year as well a
s maintain a strict regiment of 2 eight balls a day. Some of the greatest plays of your career came off the court like the time the DEA broke down the door to your hotel room filled with coke and hookers. Or who could forget the time you got pulled over with a pipe in your car and claimed it was your brothers and you took it from him to prevent him from using it, but you forgot to throw it out. Your commitment to blow may never be matched by anyone in the NFL again but don't let ESPN dropping you discourage you from pursuing your dreams. Talent like yours will always come out on top.Teenage "sport killings" of the homeless on the rise.
So now the new trend among the kids seems to be "hunting" and killing the homeless. The National Coalition For The Homeless reported 122 attacks and 20 murders of the homeless last year alone. They claim this was the highest number in a decade. Predominantly middle class white kids are the ones doing the killings / attacks with bats, painball guns and golf clubs. As usual the kids are coping out saying they learned it from the Bum Fights videos and the media is jumping all over it. The article I read goes on to list numerous other instances of young kids beating the
homeless as well as interviewing homeless people who say they live in fear of being beaten to death by kids hungry for some homeless vengence.I say we get Jack Mason, homeless super soldier of justice of Surviving the Game fame, to just take these kids out. The kids would be running in fear as Mason came down the street, smoking cigarette butts off the ground while double fisting the private stock. As the movie stated "Jack Mason knows he's going to die someday. But today he's not in the mood" odviously there is no one more qualified for this job.
Gas cooker blows up island:
A faulty gas cooker exploded on a remote carribean island destroying half of it. Fire swept from hut to hut in a matter of minutes as villagers dove into the ocean or scrambled to their fishing boats. Of the 1,014 people on the island 348 were injured but no one was killed. I would love to add some sort of joke here but the picture alone is comedic genius. I mean it looks like a nuke went off.Simpsons Trailer
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